Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day Thoughts

On this beautiful Mother's Day, I find myself with a very full heart with so much to be grateful for!  Just a short time ago this was a painful day for me.  My heart still aches for those who are waiting to be mothers.  Just know you are very loved!

My sweet baby girls bring me so much joy.  These two have changed my life forever and I will never be the same.  Motherhood is a beautiful experience filled with yes, lots of hard work but also incredibly rewarding moments.  Harmony, with her mischievous grin and little chuckle.  Her little sense of humor brings frequent laughter to our home.  This little girl is a very independent baby but makes sure to give us cuddles and hugs to show she needs us.  Her love for music, dancing, animals and the outdoors is refreshing.  People say, "Oh, she is so lucky to have you as her mom."  But the truth is, I am the blessed one.  And Charlotte, sweet Charlotte.  Her giddy little smile, intense blue eyes and sweet charm are beautiful.  This baby is one little cuddle bug and I cherish her snuggles and giggles.  These girls are so very opposite from each other but so beautiful in who they each are as little people.  God has surely blessed our family!

 Today, I am also very thankful for my mom.  Even though we live states apart she has always made the effort to visit and be a part of our girl's lives.  Coming to town for baby showers, birthday parties and to lend a helping hand.  Thank you for raising me to be the woman I am today and thank you for loving me and my family.  I love you so much and wish you a very happy Mother's Day.

And on this day, there is one person who will forever be loved and celebrated.  Harmony's birth mother.  Her heartache and loss was my joy and gain.  Mother's Day brings very mixed emotions for me.  Of course I am thrilled to be a mom to my two beautiful girls, but at the same time I know this day brings pain and sadness to her.  She gave me the gift of motherhood and for that I will forever be grateful.  We love you Destiny and wish you a very special Mother's Day.

Destiny and Harmony

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Charlotte Noelle

Today little miss Charlotte is 4 weeks old and I can't believe how the time has flown!  It seems like just yesterday we were a family of 3 anxiously awaiting her arrival.  Now she's here, cuddled up close to me on my chest.  Charlotte is a cuddler, she is a sweet baby who loves to be held close, she is my beautiful daughter.  This is Charlotte's story...

December 29th started out as any normal day in our house does.  I had been having very irregular contractions during the night but by the time we woke up they had stopped.  We got Harmony up and ready for the day and enjoyed a nice Saturday morning breakfast together.  We were getting ready to go out and run some errands when the contractions started up again around 10:30.  This time they were hard from the start and consistently close together.  The doctors had told me the day before at my appointment that when labor did start, I should get to the hospital quickly as the baby was very low and I was already dilated to 4cm.  So off we went to the hospital, Harmony as well since we still needed to get somebody to take care of her on last minute notice.  

Once we got to the hospital everything moved so quickly for me.  Even though we had 9 months to prepare for this day, it still didn't seem real to me.  After progressing rapidly to 6cm., I was admitted at 2:00pm. and got settled into my labor and delivery room.  Karl thought we would have plenty of time waiting around so we decided it would be a good time for him to run to the cafeteria to get something to eat before it got crazy.  He had been gone no longer than 5 minutes when my doctor and nurses came running into the room in a panic.  Charlotte's heart rate had dropped significantly and no matter what they tried it wouldn't come back up.  The nurses frantically started trying to get a hold of Karl as they were talking about getting me in for an emergency C-Section.   But just as quickly as her heart rate dropped, it went right back up.  After checking my progress and seeing that I had gone from 6cm. to 9cm. in 30 minutes, they decided this is what had put the strain on poor Charlotte.  This was the scariest part of the whole experience for me.  Not knowing what was going on and being so afraid for my baby.  And this was the first time I felt such a strong sense of protection for this little girl. 

At 5:30 it was time to start pushing.  I pushed and pushed and pushed.  After feelings of nausea, exhaustion and extreme pain, Charlotte Noelle arrived in this world at 7:09pm.  Words cannot describe the feelings of joy I felt as she was laid on my chest.  This baby who was prayed for and so highly anticipated had finally arrived.  We both cried as our eyes met for the first time.  She was perfect.  Healthy and beautiful at 7lbs. 14oz. and 20 1/4 inches long and we were instantly in love.  The not so lovely details of the rest of the night and my recovery can be spared from this blog post. :) 

Karl and I feel so blessed to have two healthy and beautiful baby girls.  Both were prayed for for so long and now we feel like our blessing are overflowing.  God has been so good to our family.  Here are a few of my feelings about Charlotte and the things I am grateful for: I am so grateful that I got to experience pregnancy and yes, even childbirth.  Even though parts of it were unpleasant or painful it is an amazing experience that I will treasure forever.  I am so extremely grateful to have experienced the joy of an adopted and a biological child.  This is a unique situation that most people do not get to experience.  People frequently tell us, "people always get pregnant after they adopt."  The truth is, it doesn't.  And we are grateful we are one of the few who has gotten to experience both.  A hospital experience filled with pure joy at knowing this baby is forever ours from day one.  I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to nurse my baby.  It is something not everyone gets to experience and for me it has been such a special thing.  Not having to deal with bottles for baby #2!  My husband has been such an amazingly helpful and supportive man during the past month.  I could not have done it without him.  Grateful for our amazing families and friends who have come along side us and helped us through this crazy time in our life with two babies under 10 months. We are so blessed to have each and every one of you! 

God has been so good to us.  And even though I know there will be rough days when I can barely shower and feed myself, I am so grateful for the two beautiful children He has blessed us with.  They are so full of life and laughter and make our home so happy.  We are love with our girls and feeling overwhelmingly happy. :)

Sweet sisters