Open Adoption

Legacy of An Adopted Child
Brenda Romanchik


Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart,
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give
You all you needed after your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.


One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.


They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your
Birthmom loved and cared for you.


They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.


So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.


And you have a home where you can get:
Your questions answered,
Your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.


And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.


Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.


Before we started pursuing adoption, the thought of an open adoption scared us.  It was a foreign idea; one that required education.  The adoption training we attended, along with several different books, have been a great resource and have made us excited about the idea of having a relationship with the birth mother.  How wonderful it would be for our child to know their birth family and have the opportunity to get any questions they have answered.  I think this poem does a perfect job of describing the role each family can play in the child's life. 

We're Official!

We are so excited about this post!  As of Tuesday, we were approved and officially entered the Waiting Pool for Hope's Promise.  As of last night, our profile is now on their website and can be viewed by birth mothers.  We are so thrilled about being in the waiting phase of the adoption process.  The wait could be 2 days, 2 months or 2 years.  We are are enjoying our last days as just the two of us and are excited for our family to grow!  

Here is the link to our profile on our agencies website:

http://www.hopespromise.com/2012/01/karl-amy/

Finished!

This week has been very exciting; filled with interviews and LOTS of questions!  We love our case worker, Rachel, and feel so blessed to be working with her.  She has been so helpful in making us feel at ease and comfortable through these interviews. Our first meeting was last Tuesday with both of us together and was mostly questions about adoption.  Why we want to adopt, how we plan on dealing with certain issues surrounding adoption, ect.  Then this past Tuesday we had our individual interviews which consisted mostly of questions regarding our past, families, marriage, friends, ect.  This one was definitely the hardest as we were separated and didn't really know what types of questions to expect.  But once the interview started and we got going it really wasn't too painful.  We just kept telling each other that it couldn't be that bad, we have nothing to hide!  The final interview was in our home on Thursday.  Basically, she inspected our home to make sure it's safe for a child.  Along with the inspection, we had one final questionaire.  The questions were focused on our neighborhood, methods of discipline and additional questions on issues that may come up with an adopted child. 

All in all, the whole interview process really wasn't that bad.  I was definitely more nervous about it than Karl!  It was so exciting for us to finish these interviews and we can't believe everything is finished!  On Tuesday Rachel will present our case in the staff meeting and will  let us know if we are approved.  She said there will be no problems :)  I will be delivering our scrapbooks to her on Monday, so once we're approved they can start showing our profile to birth families next week!

We were talking with her about how adopting is such a huge step of faith.  It's hard not to think about what type of child we're going to have.  Will it be a boy or girl?  What race will the child be?  What will the birth family be like?  What personality will our child have?  She said it is amazing to see how God always makes a perfect match between the birth family and adopting family.  We know it is ultimately in His control and we can't wait to meet the child He has chosen for our family!

Homestudy Interviews Scheduled

Yesterday we received a call from the director of Hope's Promise letting us know that our file has been reviewed and we are cleared for the next step!  The next phase involves 3 different interviews with a case worker who has been assigned to us for the remainder of our adoption journey.  Our first interview is both Karl and I together and it will be on December 27th.  The second interview is each of us individually and that will be on January 3rd.  The individual interviews will be pretty lengthy at 2 hours each!   Finally, the 3rd interview will be in our home on January 5th.  This is basically to inspect our home and make sure it is safe for a child.  We're not too nervous but it sure will be nice to have these done!

We were talking yesterday about how smooth this whole process has been for us.  Throughout our time of infertility it was so frustrating because everything was out of our control.  When we started the adoption process it was very exciting because it felt like we had some control in the matter. For example: which agency we chose, when to start the process, how quickly we wanted to get the paperwork done, ect.  Then we went to our training through the agency and one of the things that kept being brought up was, letting go of all  our expectations.  It was good for us to hear this and also remember that ultimately it's all in God's hands anyways and He already knows the exact timing of this whole process for us.  We've tried to just let go of our expectations and know that when it happens, it's in His perfect timing.  God has blessed us tremendously with an experience that seems to be painless and even enjoyable!

Fingerprints are back!

Today we received a call from the agency letting us know they received our FBI fingerprints in the mail!  After hearing it can take up to 12 weeks, we had totally settled in for a long wait.  It took exactly 8 weeks, to the day, for them to be processed.  Todays call came as a bit of a surprise!  This is officially the last thing we needed to move forward.  Our entire packet has been handed over to the director of Hope's Promise for her to review.  Once she has looked everything over (probably mid to late next week), we will be getting a call to schedule our first home study interview. It's starting to become real to us!

One Step Closer

This past week we moved forward a step!  We finally received our Colorado Springs local background check.  It was supposed to take only 5 weeks for processing but ours was received after about a 7 week wait.  If there's one thing we are learning on this journey, it is patience!  This was the last item on our checklist we needed to get done before we could turn our whole packet of paperwork into the agency.  On Wednesday, we checked and double checked everything in our pile to make sure it was all complete.  This includes our autobiographies, financial statements, questionnaires, doctors reports, insurance information and much more.  Being the anal person that I am, and not completely trusting USPS, I personally delivered our paperwork to the agency!  It wasn't necessarily that I thought it would get processed that much sooner if I delivered it. I just couldn't imagine what we would do if this precious package, full of so many hours of work, got lost in the mail!  After reviewing our paperwork, the agency called to let us know that it was all complete and everything looked good.  The last thing we need to move forward are the FBI fingerprint clearances.  These typically take anywhere from 6-12 weeks to be completed and we are now approaching 8 weeks.  Once the agency receives our fingerprints, they will call us to schedule our home study interviews.   We are hopeful they will be calling us any day!

Right now we are appreciating the break from adoption paperwork and  just enjoying normal life.  Please pray for our fingerprints to come back quickly and for patience for the wait!

Grateful

Throughout the past couple weeks with celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas rapidly approaching we've had many thoughts running through our minds. First, we are so completely grateful for our family and friends who have been such an amazing support to us throughout our journey of infertility and now with our adoption. This road is not always an easy one and we are so blessed to have these people by our side to encourage and pray for us. Secondly, we feel such an amazing joy for the excitement God has given us for adoption. It is such a blessing that God has chosen us to adopt a child into our family just as He adopted us into His. This journey has already been a life changing experience and we know it's only going to get better!

So as Christmas approaches, we are thrilled for the joy He has put in our hearts and the opportunities He has entrusted us with. At a time when it's so easy to loose track of the real meaning of the season, we are grateful. Grateful for what He has done for us and how He continues to take care of His children. Grateful for the peace and joy He has put in our hearts, and last but definitely not least, for the baby that will be joining our family!

Please don't be offended if you don't receive a Christmas card from us this year. We have decided to take the year off and focus our time, energy and money on our adoption. Merry Christmas!

Blessings,
Karl and Amy